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Anti-Violence Advocate

Coping with Holiday Stress

Holiday’s can be a particularly tough time for survivors of interpersonal violence and abuse.  Many things about holidays and more time with families can be stressful.  Reunions can be reminders of life before the assault.  It can also be a time that survivors have to be around family members that abuse.   It can be difficult for a survivor  to express feelings and talk about their lives if family members aren’t aware of the assault.

According to Dr. Glenn Schiraldi the following six steps can return a survivors’ relationships to being their safety net.

  1. Number one is to accept one’s fears.  This could mean a survivor no longer denying fears about their family members finding out about the assault; not necessarily telling them, but acknowledging the fear of their knowing.
  2. The next step is to replace those ideas that block close relationships.  This could be the thoughts such as “they don’t know the real ‘me’ anymore.”  Survivors should actively reassure themselves that their families love them regardless and know who they really are, even if family doesn’t know everything the survivor has been through.
  3. The third step is to retrain oneself on communication skills if they have been damaged; this could mean standing up for one’s self or expressing affection.
  4. The fourth step is to gradually practice trusting others again.  An example for this would be to allow a person into your world for a bit; maybe share something personal and a point of pride with a close or favorite relative.
  5. Next; step back and notice how family and friends handle conflicts and stress.
  6. Lastly, consider picking up where things were left before the trauma.  Take this moment to ponder how the relationships truly were before and where they could be.  Survivors can envision how their close, intimate relationships should look like and begin working towards that goal.

Holidays bring enough stress, but compounding it with the stress that trauma can bring may seem overwhelming.  However, they can also be a wonderful opportunity to show us again who matters in life and a strong sense of new opportunities in the new year.

 

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My upcoming show: The Anti-Violence Advocate

My upcoming show: The Anti-Violence Advocate, is going to be focused on violence and it’s impact on the individual, relationships, families, and our communities.   Violence has great consequences across communities and is integrally linked to oppression of women and marginalized populations, the perpetuation of sexism, racism, heteronormativity, transphobia and other ideologies of domination.

 

Violence is defined by the World Health Organization as intentional use of physical force or power, threatened or actual, against a person or against a group or community that either results in or would have a high likelihood to result in injury, death, psychological harm, maldevelopment or deprivation.

 

 Violence and injuries kill more people aged 1 – 44 than any other cause and results in over 400 billion in medical care annually.  The Center for Disease Control and Prevention consider this to be one the most serious health problems in the United States.  Yet the numbers of violent deaths is only a portion of the story.  Interpersonal violence in the form of child abuse, sexual assault, stalking, domestic violence, dating violence, and human trafficking for sexual exploitation effects 1 in 4 or more of women and 1 in 8 or more of males.  Survivors are left with permanent physical and emotional scars that can change lives forever by impacting mental health, impairing social functioning and slowing economic and social development, and require ongoing intervention.  But here again, the impact on the survivor is only part of the story.  Violence erodes our communities by increasing costs and demands on medical care, reducing productivity, decreasing property values, and disrupting social services.  The range of interpersonal violence I described contributes to truancy, unemployment, unplanned pregnancies, communicable diseases, unhealthy relationships, substance abuse and dependency, and reduction or loss of income. 

 

Violence is perpetuated against more than 25% of our community individually and impacts a 100% of our community.  If violence was a disease, it would be considered an epidemic.  Social forces would mobilize, funders would come out in droves, and programs would be implemented to effect change immediately.  But for violence, that still is not happening consistently or maintained strategically.  And why is that?  As violence is an intentional act, it then bodes the realization that it is preventable.  While some people with mental health disorders may cause violence without understanding what they are doing, most violence is premeditated and planned.  People intentionally make decisions to perpetuate violence against others, with the highest numbers of violence perpetuated against women and members of marginalized communities. 

 

Interpersonal and social factors are related to both the cause and the prevention of violence.  The potentially modifiable factors most associated with levels of violence are concentrated poverty, income disparity, the absence of stable and healthy relationships within families, and (what might be most controversial for some) gender inequality. 

A strategic approach addressing the underlying causes of violence is most effective in preventing violence.  Evidenced-based or scientifically credible strategies to prevent violence include nurse home-visiting and parenting education to prevent child maltreatment; life skills training for children ages 6–18 years; school-based programmes to address gender norms and attitudes; reducing alcohol availability and misuse; reducing access to guns and knives; and promoting gender and racial equality by, for instance, supporting the economic empowerment of women and traditionally marginalized ethnic and cultural groups. 

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On-Air for WRIR and Blogging for the Pixel Project

I am excited to begin a couple new projects in my anti-violence work.

On December 9th, my first blog on Rape in War – a small article and a list of 16 resources that range from international organizations, documentaries, books, and news articles will appear on The Pixel Project Website – 16 for 16 Days of Activism.  I am proud to be part of the 16 for 16 Days of Activism to end violence against women.  I have spent the last 6 years focused on running a local rape crisis center and centered on response and direct education for a small regional community.  It was a great opportunity and learning element to turn my focus on sexual assault in the context of war and conflict.  When looking at rape in communities, families, and organizations; you become focused on the known predator of interpersonal crime and address the issue of sexual assault with a single survivor and family.  Sexual assault as a war crime brings home the link to larger issues of sexual assault as a part of society’s response to conflict.  The numbers of victims becomes a global number and is staggering, the extended families as secondary survivors is even more staggering when looked at as a group.  My research for this simple blog brought home the enormous amount of crime that accompanies war and conflict.  Crime that is overlooked or ignored.  The impact of trauma on the survivors, the families, and the community that will carry on is equally enormous and with the reduction of resources that happens in war, will be even more difficult to address and treat.   The impact of these crimes will continue even when peace is obtained.

My other project is going to be a weekly short spot on my local radio station WRIR  (Richmond Independent Radio).  I begin taping this weekend with the spots to be starting after the New Year.  I so look forward to sharing information on the social impact of interpersonal violence (sexual assault, stalking, domestic violence, dating violence, trafficking) that are at epidemic levels in our communities.  More to come!

 

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Call for submissions for the Sexual Assault Report (SAR)

A repost from End Violence Against Women International:

We are extremely pleased to announce that Joanne Archambault and Kim Lonsway are now serving as Editors of the Sexual Assault Report (SAR), an excellent bimonthly newsletter published by the Civic Research Institute.

We would therefore like to invite professionals in the field to submit manuscripts to be considered for publication in the Sexual Assault Report (SAR). SAR publishes high quality articles and reviews of books, social science articles, and legal decisions related to sexual assault. The kinds of topics that might be interesting for SAR readers include a review of a book, DVD/video, report, or social scientific article in the field. Or, professionals could write an original article on topics such as the following:

Dynamics of sexual assault crimes, including new tactics and vulnerabilities
Impact of sexual assault on children, teens, and/or adults
Communities at particularly high risk of sexual victimization (e.g., people with disabilities, Native American women, adolescents, women serving in the U.S. military)
Victim recovery and advances in therapeutic assistance
New legislative developments & implications for practice
Strategies for increasing accessibility of programs for people with disabilities and others
Program development/sustainability for SART teams
Advocacy by systems- and community-based professionals
Effective strategies for law enforcement investigation and criminal prosecution
Current issues regarding forensic medical examinations
Approaches to effectively working with the media
Particularly interesting for SAR readers are articles that bridge the gap between research and practice, to provide concrete guidance for practitioners based on empirically supported knowledge. The publication is designed to be useful for practitioners in a wide range of disciplines, including:

Victim advocates and service providers
Prosecutors and civil attorneys
Law enforcement professionals
Medical forensic examiners
Researchers and educators
Policymakers and media representatives
For more information on SAR and the Civic Research Institute please see their website at: http://www.civicresearchinstitute.com/sar.html.

Because SAR is a bi-monthly publication, articles will be accepted in an ongoing way. Article length varies, typically between 500 and 5,000 words, and the format includes only the most sparing use of footnotes, tables, and no graphs or photographs. If you have any questions about format, please see the style guidelines and language policy for SAR. A sample issue of SAR is also available for you to review.

Please feel free to contact one of us to discuss any possible ideas you have for articles. We can be reached by telephone at 509-684-9800, by fax at 509-684-9801, or via email at Kim@evawintl.org or Joanne@evawintl.org. We look forward to hearing from you and reading your submissions!

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Surviving Sexual Assault and Guilt

After working with sexual assault survivors, one of the most common themes that arises is guilt. Survivors feel guilt for not stopping an assault when they believe they could have, guilt for not pressing charges, guilt for pressing charges, guilt for putting this emotional burdon on their loved ones, guilt for disrupting the family when disclosing that a relative has been abusive.

When seeking counseling to work through an assault, guilt is usually a large topic that is addressed through a variety of methods. But one important first step is to recognize the kind of guilt you have (Grohol, 2007).

Grohol breaks this step down into “healthy guilt” and “unhealthy guilt.” Healthy guilt involves a situation when you know you have acted inappropriately, like when you’ve had that “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, day” and the straw that breaks the camel’s back is when the barista makes you an iced latte rather than the hot one that you requested and you explode, telling them that their job can’t be that hard. As you storm out of your local coffee shop and climb into your car, you feel terribly about speaking to a person in that way and you contemplate finding a new place to get your mid-day caffeine fix. Basically, it’s the mind telling us that our behaviors need to be changed.

Unhealthy guilt, on the other hand, is when you have the same emotional reactions of self-blame, but your behavior isn’t something that needs to be reexamined. This is where the guilt experienced by a sexual assault survivor would be classified. Many survivors feel as though their actions somehow contributed to the assault taking place: they didn’t fight back, they had been drinking, or maybe they had previously had consentual sex with the offender. However, a person should be able to act in any way they choose without expecting to be assaulted; therefore, the survivor’s behaviors never need to be reexamined.

While guilt is a common reaction among sexual assault survivors, an important step in processing the assault is to understand that your actions, regardless of what they were, did not cause it.

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Stages of Surviving Sexual Assault

Acute Phase

The acute phase of sexual assault trauma syndrome occurs right after the sexual assault, and can last for several weeks. The emotional response in the acute phases can be different for every survivor. Some survivors may have an “expressed” emotional response, such crying, laughing, shouting and talking—any method of letting out any emotional tension. On the opposite spectrum, other survivors may have a “controlled” emotional response, such as being withdrawn, resistant to talking, silent, distracted, numb and disconnected. The different emotional responses may seem strange to an observer, since crying is thought to be the normal response. However, there is no “normal response”—the survivor needs to express herself or himself in any way. In addition to the emotional responses, survivors will also have noticeable changes in sleeping and eating habits.

Reorganization Phase

The next phase of sexual assault trauma syndrome is the reorganization phase. During this phase, the survivor is beginning to reorganize her life after the sexual assault. However, the survivor may feel guilty or ashamed about what happened. As a result, the survivor may punish herself with unhealthy patterns, or participate in risky behavior. Sex is still a sore subject for the survivor, as she or he may find it difficult to sexually connect with anyone.

Resolution Phase

The last phase of sexual assault trauma syndrome, resolution phase, occurs when the survivor has come to terms with her or his experience. The survivor may still be angry, sad or hurt, but is focusing on moving forward. In addition, the survivor also has more control over her or his life, in comparison to how she or he felt after the assault. However, the survivor can still have flashbacks or nightmares, even years after the assault. Healing after a sexual assault is a lifelong process, and the survivor is never “over it.”

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Book Review: Trauma Stewardship

Trauma Stewardship: an Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky with Connie Burk

Working in a field dedicated to ending violence against others and supporting victims of violence is exposing oneself to violence and its impact on victims, families, communities and ourselves as healthcare workers. Lipsky and Burk address the often-unrecognized toll on those who work in fields focused on trauma.

They present the trauma exposure response that list the impact of violence and crime on responders: feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, a sense that one can never do enough, hyper-vigilance, diminished creativity, inability to embrace complexity, minimizing, chronic exhaustion/physical ailments, inability to listen/deliberate avoidance, dissociative moments, sense of persecution, guilt, fear, anger and cynicism, inability to empathize/numbing, addictions, grandiosity: An inflated sense of importance related to ones’ work.

Anyone who works with traumatized people can experience these feelings, experience anxiety, irritability, and sadness over the crimes that are perpetuated against others, over the amount of violence against others that happens everyday in our communities, over the lack of funding to keep up with the scope of services needed, and the amount of professional training needed.

Trauma Stewardship is an excellent resource for all of us who are service providers who respond to victims of violence and help support our communities in the aftermath of crime. She presents tools to create balance in our working lives to be more effective in our work, be present in our communities and families, and feel at peace with the work that we do.

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Presenting at conference focusing on the impact of sexual violence

I am honored and excited to be presenting next month with the Office of the Attorney General in collaboration with the Rappahannock Council Against Sexual Assault.  The conference is the first time the OAG’s office is focusing on sexual violence and it’s impact on individuals.   I am honored to be a Plenary Speaker at the event presenting on the Impact of Sexual Violence on Victims.   I will be bringing another therapist, Melanie Gardner, with me to present a case study while I focus on trauma and it’s impact on the brain and the complexities of recovery.  The conference information is below if anyone plans on attending.  There is a bunch of great presentations happening from a variety of professionals and allied agencies over the two days.

November 7-8, 2012 – A Victim Centered Approach to Investigating and Prosecuting Sexual Violence
Presented by The Office of the Attorney General And the Rappahannock Council Against Sexual Assault
No Registration Fee! For more information contact Melissa McMenemy at mmcmenemy@oag.state.va.us or 804-692-0592. Topics Include:♦How Trauma Impacts Victims ♦Trafficking in Sex♦Sexual Violence and Substances ♦Working with the Elderly ♦SARTs ♦Sex Workers as Victims ♦Sexual Violence in Detention Centers ♦SANE Exams.

Agenda for the conference

A Victim Centered Approach to Investigating and Prosecuting Sexual Violence Cases – Agenda

7:30am-8:00am – Registration
8:00am-8:15am – Welcome: Gallery Room – Welcome/Intros/House Keeping
8:30am-10:15am – Plenary: Gallery Room – Understanding Sexual Violence and Abuse; the Impact on Survivors by Carol Olson, LPC, ATR-BC,  CSAC and Melanie Gardner, MA, ATR-BC, LPC, BAT, LMHP
10:15am-10:30am – Break
10:30am-12:00pm – Plenary: Gallery Room – Intimidation of victims and prosecution by John Wilinson, AEquitas
12:00pm-1:15pm – Lunch (on your own)
1:15pm-2:30pm – Break Out: A1 Gallery Room – Sexual Violence and Substances by John Wilkinson, AEquitas
1:15pm-2:30pm – Break Out: A2 Mtn. Shadows Rm. – Our work with the Latino and Other Immigrant Communities by Giovanna Carney, RCASA
2:30pm-2:45pm – Break
2:45pm-4:00pm – Break Out: B1 Gallery Room – Team Centered Approach; Supporting Special Victims by Denise Lunsford, CA, Det. Sgt. Terry Walls, Susan Painter V/W Adv. Albemarle County
2:45pm-4:00pm – Break Out: B2 Mtn. Shadows Rm. – Sexual Assault Response Teams (SARTS) by Kristina Vadas, DCJS and Kristen Pine, YWCA of South Hampton Roads

Thursday, November 8, 2012

7:45am-8:15am – Registration
8:15am-8:30am – Welcome: Gallery Room – Project Horizon Overview with Judy Casteele, Director
8:30am-10:30am – Plenary: Gallery Room – Human Trafficking: The Virginia Experience – Erin Kulpa, OAG
10:30am-10:45am – Break
10:45am-12:00pm – Break Out: C1 Mtn. Shadows Rm. – Elder Sexual Assault by Lisa Furr, VCU
10:45am-12:00pm – Break Out: C2 Gallery Room – It’s Not All About You; Conducting a Victim Centered Sexual Assault Exam by Betty Fisher, SANE Nurse
12:00pm-1:15pm – Lunch
1:15pm-2:30pm – Break Out: D1 Gallery Room – E-Quaintance Sexual Assault: Sexual Violence and Developmental Differences in the Technotronic Era by Laura Glasscock, ACTS SAVAS
1:00pm-2:30pm – Break Out: D2 Mtn. Shadows Rm. – Addressing Sexual Violence in Detention Settings by Cynthia Totten, Just Detention International
2:30pm-2:40pm – Break
2:40pm-3:40pm – Break Out: E1 Mtn. Shadows Rm. – Protective Orders 2011 Legislative Changes Equal Access; Equal Protection by Hunter Fisher, OAG
2:40pm-3:40pm – Break Out: E2 Gallery Room – Dispelling Myths in Sexual Violence by Jasmine Brock, Charlottesville SARA

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Upcoming DV events in Virginia – Close out the month by supporting DV awareness

October 25th, 2012 at 7 pm,

Remember My Name will take place at Monument Heights Baptist Church. The YWCA of Richmond hosts Remember My Name, a nondenominational memorial services that commemorates men, women, and children in the Greater Richmond and surrounding communities who have lost their lives as a result of domestic violence every October during Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This memorial will serve as an opportunity for anyone interested to gather as a community that is dedicated to eliminating domestic violence. Flyer

Friday, October 26th –

The Henrico prevention coalition, Too Smart 2 Start (http://www.facebook.com/#!/HenricoTooSmart2StartCoalition?fref=ts), is collaborating with the Youth Ambassadors in Henrico County (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Youth-Ambassadors-Henrico-Too-Smart-2-Start/162494583852130?ref=ts&fref=ts) to plan a Teen Dating Violence Forum in the Spring of 2013 that will be open to all youth in the Greater Richmond Area, but hosted by Henrico. The coalition is looking for interested individuals who would like to help with planning, getting the word out about, and facilitating this dynamic event! If you are interested in being a part of the planning committee for this forum, please e-mail Stacie Vecchietti at stacie@safeharborshelter.com by this Friday, October 26th.

Monday, October 29, 2012 10:00 am-11:30 am

Office of Justice Programs, 3rd Floor Ballroom 810 7th Street, NW Washington, DC
“The Neurobiology of Sexual Assault: Implications for First Responders in Law Enforcement, Prosecution, and Victim Advocacy” Presented by Rebecca Campbell, Ph.D. Professor of Psychology and Program Evaluation Michigan State University. Dr. Campbell will bring together research on the neurobiology of trauma and the criminal justice response to sexual assault. She will explain the underlying neurobiology of traumatic events, its emotional and physical manifestation, and how these processes can impact the investigation and prosecution of sexual assaults. Real-world, practical implications will be examined for first responders, such as law enforcement, nurses, prosecutors, and advocates. For more information or to RSVP, please contact Yolanda Curtis at Yolanda.Curtis@usdoj.gov or 202-305-2554. The seminar is FREE but you must RSVP to gain access to the OJP building. Please allow 20 minutes to get through security. If you are unable to attend the seminar in person, you can listen to a recording athttp://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/events/research-real-world.htm a few weeks after the seminar takes place.

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