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What Every Man Can Do

to end men’s violence against women

1. LISTEN TO WOMEN…AND LEARN FROM WOMEN

Who knows better about violence against women than women who experience it? Learn about violence by asking a woman who trusts you how violence has affected her life. Then, if she feels comfortable to talk, sit back and listen. Your role isn’t to challenge her on the details, nor debate whether something really should have bothered her or not. It is to listen. Simply trust that if she tells you something hurt her, then it did hurt her.

Turn to your local women’s organizations. Read their publications. Contribute financially. Learn from them.

2. LEARN ABOUT THE PROBLEM

Violence against women includes physical and sexual assault, sexual harassment, and emotional abuse. Not all violence leaves visible scars. Emotional violence includes regular subjection to demeaning jokes, domineering forms of behavior, and sexual harassment. The basic rights that most men enjoy – safety in their homes, ability to go out at night, a job free of harassment – are a source of fear for women in much of the world.

A common myth is that most violence is committed by strangers. The fact is, when a woman faces violence it is usually by a man she knows – her husband, boyfriend, father, friend or employer.

Violence against women happens everywhere, regardless of class, race or ethnicity, and religion.

3. LEARN WHY SOME MEN ARE VIOLENT

Men are not naturally violent. Violence is something that some men learn. Men’s violence is a result of the way many men learn to express their masculinity in relationships with women, children, and other men. Many men learn to think of power as the ability to dominate and control the people and the world around them. This way of thinking makes the use of violence acceptable to many men.

Some violent incidents by men can be linked to substance abuse. But substances don’t cause violence. Genes don’t cause violence. Ultimately, it is the attempt by some men to dominate women or some men’s attempts to dominate other men or groups of men. Violence is a way of asserting power, privilege, and control.

4. CHALLENGE SEXIST JOKES AND COMMENTS THAT DEGRADE WOMEN

Sexist jokes and language help create a climate where forms of violence and abuse have too long been accepted. Words that degrade women reflect a society that has historically placed women in a second class position. By reflecting this reality they once again put women “in their place” even if that isn’t the intention. One of the most difficult things for men is to learn to engage with other men on this issue. To question sexist language. To speak up when men talk lightly of violence against women.

5. IDENTIFY AND EXPOSE SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND VIOLENCE IN YOUR WORKPLACE, SCHOOL, AND FAMILY.

Sexual harassment refers to unwanted sexual advances or sexually-oriented remarks or behaviors that are unwelcome by another person. Flirting and joking can be fine but only if they are consensual and wanted. Men can join women in opposing sexual harassment by learning to spot it and learning to say something to stop it.

6. SUPPORT LOCAL WOMEN’S PROGRAMS

Around the world, dedicated women have created support services for women who are survivors of men’s violence: safe houses for battered women, rape crisis centers, counseling services, and legal aid clinics. Women escaping violent situations depend on these services. They deserve men’s support and our financial backing.

7. EXAMINE HOW YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR MIGHT CONTRIBUTE TO THE PROBLEM

Most men will never be physically or sexually violent. But we all need to examine ways we might try to control women. Do we blame the victim for an assault? Do we dominate conversations? Do we put women down? Do we limit their activities? Do we make all the decisions in our relationships? We all must think about the choices we make.

Real change starts from within.

reposted from the The White Ribbon Campaign & the Virginia Department of Health

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Remember My Name event by Richmond YWCA

October 27th
Remember My Name, 7PM, Monument Heights Church (corner of Monument and Libbie).

Remember My Name honors victims of domestic violence from our community and provides family members with the opportunity to speak on their behalf.

For information about submitting a name to the memorial or for general information about Remember My Name, please contact Casey Emery at cemery@ywcarichmond.org

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DV Programs Spotlight: P.O.W.E.R.S. INC is have it’s First Annual DV Walk to Restore

Become Aware of what Domestic Violence can do to you and how P.O.W.E.R.S. INC. can “restore your life” on:Sunday, October 16,2011,

Flushing Meadows Corona Park at

Ederle Terrace, Queens, NY

Registration Begins @ 9am – Events end @ 12pm


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Silent No Longer: Honoring Survivors and Victims of Domestic Violence

Join the Virginia Attorney General in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Silent No Longer: Honoring Survivors and Victims of Domestic Violence

You are invited to see the following: Exhibits open at 9:00 a.m.:

* Silent Witness Figures

* Beating Hearts Display

* Domestic Violence Quilts

Remarks by the Attorney General at 9:30 a.m.

Domestic Violence Survivor, Claire Hylton Sheppard

Video Overview of    Telling Amy’s Story

 And enjoy refreshments.

October 4, 2011

Office of the Attorney General, 900 East Main Street Auditorium, Richmond, Virginia 23219

Questions? Contact Melissa Roberson at (804) 692-0592, mdickert@oag.state.va.us

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Get your Prevention ON: Introduction to Primary Prevention

September 23, 2011  9:00AM- 4:00PM
Women’s Resource Center of the New River Valley (1217 Grove Avenue Radford, VA 24141) will host an introduction to primary prevention.

Primary Prevention programs are focused on reducing or eliminating the first-time perpetration of sexual violence and intimate partner violence (SV/IPV).

For information and registration contact Jonathan at jyglesias@vsdvalliance.org or 804-377-0335.

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“Behind the Make-up” a play about Domestic Violence

For three nights only the women of “Behind the Makeup” Monologues will uncover the ugly truth in a theater production designed to raise awareness about the issue of domestic violence. This play, written by Jewell Medley, a local of Halifax County, and was inspired by Jewel’s own experience with of domestic violence.  When Jewell was 15 her mother was murdered by her husband, and after killing her mother, he turned the gun on himself.

Performances will be Friday, Sept. 30, at 7 p.m., Saturday, Oct. 1, at 7 p.m. and Sunday, Oct. 2, at 3 p.m.

Tickets are available for purchase now at The Prizery box office (700 Bruce Street, South Boston, VA 24592) and they may also be purchased by phone at 434-572-8339 or online at http://www.prizery.com.

Tickets are $15 for adults and $12 for students and seniors.

Proceeds from this event benefit the Domestic Violence Program of Tri-County Community Action Agency, Inc.

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Address Confidentiality Program

The Office of the Attorney General has extended the Address Confidentiality Program (ACP).  ACP is a confidential mail-forwarding service for domestic violence victims who have recently relocated to a location unknown to their abuser.

The goal of the ACP is to help domestic violence victims keep their new address confidential. The ACP is not retroactive and cannot provide absolute protection.  The ACP is only one piece of a victim’s overall safety plan.  Each ACP participant should seek counseling through a crisis center and shelter services for an overall safety plan.

To apply for participation in the ACP, the victim must complete an application through our local domestic violence program. Below is a brochure with more details.  http://www.oag.state.va.us/KEY_ISSUES/DOMESTIC_VIOLENCE/DV_Confidentiality_Program_Brochure.pdf

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Vice President Biden’s Initiative: Apps Against Abuse

Apps Against Abuse

The challenge: Vice President Biden and Secretary Sebelius are honored to announce a challenge that encourages the development of applications that provide college students and young adults with the tools to help prevent dating violence and sexual assault.

The application envisioned will offer individuals a way to connect with trusted friends in real-time to prevent abuse or violence from occurring. While the application will serve a social function of helping people stay in touch with their friends, it will also allow friends to keep track of each other’s whereabouts and check in frequently to avoid being isolated in vulnerable circumstances.

For more information go to:http://challenge.gov/HHS/199-apps-against-abuse

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Historic Victory for Victims of Interpersonal Violence

In a landmark recommendation this past week, the nation’s leading panel of scientists agreed that every woman should have access to screening for domestic and intimate partner violence within her health coverage.  For several years, domestic violence and sexual assault agencies and coalitions; most notably – Futures Without Violence, have advocated for routine screening and assessment to help women who have been sexually and physically abused, prevent further violence, and improve the health of millions across the country.  Finally we are here! 

This recommendation from the Institute of Medicine (IOM) sends a strong message about the benefits of health care interventions for women.  Futures Without Violence has been a leader in an extensive effort to gather relevant research to support screening, coordinate advocacy groups to support the need, and work with members of Congress and to promote the issue.

The IOM determined that rates of violence are significant, and the data they reviewed confirmed that women can be helped by screening and counseling. As one of the Committee members stated, screening “can lead to positive interventions.”

Leaders are calling this one of the biggest advances for women’s health in a generation and clearly it is THE biggest health policy advancement related to domestic violence.  

Guidelines based on the IOM recommendations will be issued by Health and Human Services (HHS) Secretary Sebelius by August 2nd to determine coverage of preventive health care screenings and care for women with no additional copayments or deductibles.  Other IOM recommendations included coverage for a full range of reproductive health services including contraception. Under the Affordable Care Act, insurance plans will be required to cover the services recommended by HHS. Through this coverage, and with training for health care providers Futures Without Violence offers, we have the opportunity to improve the health and lives of thousands of abused women and children. 

Click here to see the report brief and full report.  To see our statement, please click here

Futures Without Violence
100 Montgomery Street, The Presidio
San Francisco, CA 94129-1718
tel: 415.678.5500 | fax: 415-529-2930

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