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Anti-Violence Advocate

Fundraising for Sexual and Domestic Violence Services in Virginia

Repost for the Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance

Hey folks ~

Wanted to share – and invite you to participate in – some unique violence prevention fundraising work we’ve been doing here in Virginia.

QUICK BACKGROUND: The Virginia Sexual & Domestic Violence Action Alliance decided to create a special fund to provide greater resources for local primary prevention projects. It seems like the grant funding keeps shrinking, and private foundations tend to not fund prevention since it’s seen as “less tangible,” so it made sense to establish their own fund to supplement those resources. To raise money for the fund, we’re using something we have here in Virginia called “special interest license plates.” People can buy plates for their cars designed by a non-profit. A sizable portion of the proceeds then go back to the sponsoring organization. It’s great because most people just renew their plates every year, so you have a yearly influx of general funds.

THE CURRENT SITUATION: We designed a license plate which was approved by our membership and by the Virginia DMV. Now we just need to sell 450 pre-orders to “activate” the plate (that is, get the state to sign-off on its production and start making them). We start seeing income after the first 1,000 are sold. To register for the plate you have to: 1) Live in Virginia, and 2) Fill-out an application and pay the $25 fee ($35 if you want a “vanity” plate).

WHAT WE ARE DOING: To facilitate this plate ordering process we’ve created a very focused microsite (www.drivepeacehome.org) just for that purpose. To “hook” people in the general public sympathetic to our cause, we’ve been creating a series of very short (less than 1 minute) videos featuring kids describing healthy relationships, and we’re “seeding” them on sites and blogs that seem relevant. The idea is that the videos will draw people in, funnel them to the microsite, and (hopefully) provide enough emotional momentum that they’ll fill out the application and send in their payment. Or they can just donate if they don’t want a plate.

The first video is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5JqGkYB_js

Please use the marketing videos by distributing them to your social networks to spread the word in your community!

The other 2 videos we’ve made so far should appear as recommended on the side bar or you can access them here: http://drivepeacehome.org/?page_id=39 . PLEASE SHARE ANY OF THESE VIDEOS on your social media outlets, and anywhere else you deem appropriate. Also, feel free to shoot any questions to me about the strategy or execution behind this. Thanks for your help with this effort!

Jonathan Yglesias
—
Jonathan Yglesias, MS
Prevention Projects Coordinator
Virginia Sexual & Domestic Violence Action Alliance
5008 Monument Ave, Suite A
Richmond, VA 23230
(804) 377.0335
http://www.vsdvalliance.org/primary_prevention

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End Sexual and Domestic Violence In Virginia -join the Action Alliance

Want to be part of the voice against violence? Want to impact health and safety in your community in a positive way? Want to provide support to survivors of interpersonal violence?

Join the statewide coalition and engage actively in the work to end violence in our communities.

Membership Information

Questions about membership? For more information email info@vsdvalliance.org

Become or Renew a Membership on-line

Membership Types

Standard Individual/SDVA Staff $30 Lifetime Member $1000 (PDF Brochure)
Affiliate Membership $250 Sexual & Domestic Violence Advocacy Membership (3-10 FTEs) $500
Sexual & Domestic Violence Advocacy Membership (3 or Fewer FTEs) $250 Sexual & Domestic Violence Advocacy Membership (10-19 FTEs) $1,000
Sexual & Domestic Violence Advocacy Membership (20+ FTEs) $2,000
Individual/SDVA Staff Members

Individual/SDVA Staff ($30)
Benefits =participation in Action Alliance membership meetings, Task Forces and Caucuses; reduced training registration fees; public policy alerts; Revolution
Lifetime Member ($1000)

A lifetime membership constitutes a lifetime connection between you and the Action Alliance. You will never have to pay dues again. Lifetime members will receive all benefits of an individual membership and never have your annual dues increased. Lifetime members will recieve special recognition and be invited to participate in select Action Alliance events.
Affiliate Membership

Affiliate Members: agencies, organizations, businesses and units of state or local government agencies with a commitment to the mission of the Action Alliance ($250)
Benefits in addition to above = resources for victims; access to borrowing public awareness displays (e.g. Silent Witness, Art of Surviving, Beating Hearts)
Sexual and Domestic Violence Advocacy Membership

SDVA Advocacy Members: private non-profit agencies and units of local government, colleges and universities, and military installations whose primary function (at least 75% of activities) is services to victims of sexual/domestic violence and/or community-based prevention of sexual/domestic violence. Tiered membership fee of $250 if fewer than 3 FTEs; $500 if 3 FTEs up to 10 FTEs; $1,000 if 10-19FTEs, $2,000 if more than 20 FTEs.
Benefits in addition to above = Resonance, access to Technical Assitance Calls, access to use of VAdata, reduced Accreditation Fee

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“These Feelings of Love, Life & Loneliness” Kathleen Wakeham’s poem about violence

Kathleen Wakeham published a small book of poetry in 1974 entitled: These feelings of Love, Life and Loneliness, just some poems. It’s a beautiful collection of poems about being a woman, living, loving, and feeling both a part of the world and separate from it. One of her poems she has written about rape, an intense monologue of an experience of violence against a woman.

A Rape

Her teeth knocked out, blood strewn around

the walls reek with pain,

while the floor is covered with tearful shredded garments

His calling was a leap of risk, from roof

to window pane through her

so a torrent of senselessness gushed.

Torn through slicing lips, gouging pits

plunging at lily bed roots

whose only self is to grow, give nutrients,

be caressed by nature’s rain drops.

Smashed beauty, brass knuckles into a fragile nose bridge

Crying, pleading, Why? Why?

But the lashing and the thrusting go on.

Only stopping after the last spill of sour creamed extermination

the stilhetto falls limp, the skull relaxes its hardened gourd.

But the blood, crying, sores, pain don’t ever seem to stop

Not stopping now or then or, it seems, ever.

Madmen and lunatics roam about

preying on the loving, the harmless

smashing glass into her vulva on a night of quietude.

Rampaging innocence, locking her mind in a padded cell

of fear, hurt, humiliation (no, you’re not a slut)

in the name of

the poor boy had a bad home and is misunderstood, forgive, understand, he’s aman and nature was only calling his natural need.

And her eyes are cloudy glass in a misty self

of voidful womanhood, talking with a tongueless mouth

and a slashed face of dazzlement — Why? Why?

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Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse

For those in the metro Richmond and Hopewell area, The James House has received some referrals from the Richmond area for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I wanted to welcome you to refer anyone that may benefit from our five week support group for male adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse on Mondays from 6:00pm to 7:30pm, from November 5th to December 3rd.

If you have any questions, or are in need of further information please feel free to contact me.

I have attached the group flyer with date and time information for your convenience.

Liesl Lipford
The James House
Client Services Coordinator
1016 Maplewood Avenue
Hopewell, VA 23860
(804) 458-2704
http://www.thejameshouse.org

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Domestic Violence Awareness Month Resources by NCADV

 

reposted from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence website

DVAM Resources and Activities

Guidelines

  • Plan as far ahead as possible and involve battered women and  children as much as possible.
  • Contact your state coalition or network to coordinate and  strengthen efforts in your state and region.
  • Be sure that the media is aware of your plans. The suggested national observance is a candlelight ceremony  on or near the National Day of Unity to  remember those who have suffered and died from domestic violence and to celebrate the work  being done to end violence. Choose a significant public place to hold the vigil.
  • Be creative. Include music, poetry, dance,  moments of silence, and stories shared by women.
  • Purple is the color for  the Month’s activities. Wear purple ribbons to bring national  awareness to the issues faced by battered women and their children.
  • Start small if you wish, but plan now to do  something during October. Make Domestic Violence Awareness Month part of your evolving  herstory.

Activities and Ideas

  • Ribbon Campaign: Distribute purple ribbons to clergy, police chiefs, judges, librarians, emergency room personnel, and others in your community.
  • Table Tent Campaign: Print table tents with a reminder that October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and information about services and how to access them. Distribute table tents to area restaurants and hospital cafeterias.
  • Utility Company Campaign: Ask local utility companies to include a message in their October bills. (Sometimes banks are also willing to include information in their monthly statements.)
  • Library Displays: Contact public libraries in your area and provide them with materials for a display. Church Campaign: Send a mass mailing to all religious institutions in your area asking them to address the issue from the pulpit or in their newsletter during October.
  • Children’s Campaign: Have children from the shelter write thank you cards with painted hand prints on them to be distributed to police departments, judges, probation officers and prosecutors in the county.
  • Chili Cook-Off: Have a chili cooking contest with prizes and entertainment. Invite individual cooks, teams and restaurants to compete, with tasting open to the public. The proceeds benefit the local shelter.
  • Clothesline Project Display: Display tee-shirts created by survivors of domestic violence in a public place. The shirts depict their stories, their pain and their hopes. Teen Dating Violence Essay Contest: Hold essay contests in area schools with an awards ceremony.
  • Wish List Drive: Put posters in area beauty salons displaying the shelter’s wish list and making literature and information available. For every item contributed, the person’s name is entered in a drawing for a prize.
Related articles

 

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Domestic Violence Awareness Month

This year, as we recognize October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month, also celebrate the 17th anniversary of the Violence Against Women Act and the 28th anniversary of the Family Violence Prevention and Services Act.

To educate those who are not aware of these Acts:

* The Violence Against Women Act is the landmark federal legislation that provides key funding for the justice system’s responses to domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking and dating violence.

* The Family Violence Prevention and Services Act is the lifeblood of domestic violence shelters and programs across the country.

In tandem with state and local laws, The Violence Against Women Act and the Family Violence Prevention and Services Act are making a difference in countless lives, especially in a time of financial crisis. Times like the recent years of recession and economic downturn only serve to exacerbate domestic violence. While the economy does not cause domestic violence, in abusive relationships, factors associated with a bad economy can increase the frequency and severity of abuse.

Another negative impact that recessions have on causes, especially human services related causes are that while demands for domestic violence services increase, funding declines. Governmental entities, corporations and individuals are tightening their budgets and are funding life-saving programs at reduced levels across the nation.

Additionally, while positive: the demand for services increases with improvements in criminal justice responses, better outreach and increased awareness

What can you do?
In recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, help to renew efforts to invest in life-saving shelters and non-residential domestic violence services. The Family Violence Prevention and Services Act is the only dedicated federal funding source for emergency shelters, crisis hotlines, advocacy programs, counseling and comprehensive victim assistance. Research shows that staying at a shelter or working with a domestic violence expert significantly reduces the likelihood that a victim would be abused again and improved the victim’s quality of life. Shelters are effective and efficient.

The University of Connecticut and National Resource Center on Domestic Violence published a groundbreaking study of shelter services (Funded by the Family and Youth Services Bureau, Family Violence Prevention and Services Program, administered by the National Institute of Justice) It captured the experience of 3,410 shelter residents in 215 programs in 8 states. 99% reported getting the safety they needed; 95% got help with safety planning. 99% got emotional support (counseling, access to faith community, etc.) 93% got help finding housing, job training, managing money, etc. 99% of mothers got safety for children, children’s counseling, health care assistance, and child care.

Funding
* The Family Violence Prevention and Services Act has been extremely successful. The problem is that it has never been fully funded. It was written in 1984 and needs to be updated to reflect current best practices.

* A reauthorization bill should build upon its successes and expand its reach to all underserved populations. CURRENT FVPSA FUNDING SIMPLY CANNOT MEET THE NEED FOR SERVICES. FVPSA NEEDS TO BE FULLY FUNDED.

* Use national/state DV Counts 2008 Census numbers to demonstrate the demand for and gap in services and provide local information about the need created by the economic crisis. http://nnedv.org/resources/census/232-census2008.html

RESPONDING TO CLAIMS FROM OPPOSITION GROUPS

Claim: Domestic violence laws represent a reduction in civil rights for those wrongfully accused of perpetrating domestic violence.

Response: The Violence Against Women Act represents a protection of rights for survivors of domestic abuse. It protects victims’ fundamental right to safety when faced with abuse.

Claim: Orders of protection can be issued even without any allegation of physical violence.

Response: Orders of protection are issued in response to physical violence or a credible threat to cause harm, as determined by a judge who weighs the available evidence. They are issued in accordance with due process, as the U.S. Constitution requires. Orders of protection are not a conviction. They are put into place to prevent future violence.

Claim: Allegations of abuse are often recanted because victims cannot produce evidence of the alleged abuse.

Response: Survivors, more often than not, recant allegations out of fear of retaliation from their abusers, not lack of evidence.

Claim: Men and women are equally likely to be the victims of domestic abuse.

Response: Men can be victims of partner abuse, but they represent a minority of cases. We know that 85 percent of the victims are females abused by male partners; they are 90 to 95 percent more likely to be the victims of abuse than are men. (Bureau of Justice Statistics and the U.S. Dept. of Justice)

Claim: Mandatory arrest policies violate the Constitution and increase the safety risk for victims.

Response: Arrest policies outlined in the Violence Against Women Act do not violate the Constitution. They are based on probable cause. Key to holding perpetrators accountable is good training for law enforcement to identity the predominant aggressor and avoid arresting victims. The Violence Against Women Act provides critical support for such training.

More information is available on the Domestic Violence Awareness Project Web site (http://www.nrcdv.org/dvam/materials/), coordinated by the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence.

Materials include NNEDV’s domestic violence and sexual assault fact sheet (http://www.nrcdv.org/dvam/docs/materials/09-resource-packet/Issue_FactsSheets_Handouts/DVSA_FactSheet.pdf) and our talking points on domestic violence and the economy (http://www.nrcdv.org/dvam/docs/materials/09-resource-packet/Issue_FactsSheets_Handouts/ImpactofEconomy_FactSheet.pdf).

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“Some Kind of Love, Some Say” Maya’s poem on violence suffered by women.

I came across an old post I wrote for the rape crisis center I work at, where I did a poetry review on Sunday’s. I decided to review poetry written about and in response to the pain and suffering of violence. How do people write about rape, sexual abuse, violence? How does one use poetry to write about the unbearable, the unthinkable, the unimaginable? I’m starting with Maya Angelou’s poem: “Some Kind of Love, Some Say”

“is it true the ribs can tell

The kick of a beast from a

Lover’s fist? The bruised

Bones recorded well

The sudden shock, the

Hard impact. Then swollen lids,

Sorry eyes, spoke not

Of lost romance, but hurt.

Hate often is confused. Its

Limits are in zones beyond itself. And

Sadists will not learn that

Love, by nature, exacts a pain

Unequalled on the rack.”

What do you think about this poem, how does Maya use poetry to write about intimate partner abuse? What does her title mean? So often such abuse, violence and rape is couched as love, described as caring to try to lessen the harsh reality of power and control dynamics. How does language get used to try and change the perception of abuse as necessary action, as love, as teaching? How did this dynamic of needing to control others through pain start?

Do you have poems you would like to share? Do any of my readers write about their experiences through prose or poetry? I would love to read them, please feel free to share here either in the comments or I am happy to have you guest post.

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Profiles of Rapists

This week I was a guest provider in a domestic violence support group at a local domestic violence shelter. As some of the group members also had issues related to sexual violence and abuse, they asked me to come and talk about offenders. So I thought I would post information I give out in my work at a rape crisis center about the personality characteristics of rapists.

The FBI has established four personality characteristics to predict the behavior of rapists, defined by motive, style of attack and psychosexual characteristics. While most rapists will fit into one of the profiles, due to the fact that there are a variety of personalities, there is no one correct characteristic for a profile. Suspects may exhibit characteristics from one or more of the profiles.

Power Reassurance Rapist – 81%

Motivation:
To resolve self-doubts by reassuring himself of his masculinity with no real intent to further harm his victim.

Style:

Surprise Approach with force.
Strikes between midnight and 5 am, usually at the victim’s residence.
Selects victims through voyeurism.
Attacks victims who are alone or with small children.
Negotiates with the victim.
Does whatever the victim allows him to do.
Attacks in his own residence or work area.
Commits single assault.
May keep a diary.
Social Interaction:

Few friends
Self-concept as a loser
Menial job with little public contact
Power Assertive Rapist – 12%

Motivation:
To resolve self-doubts by reassuring himself of his masculinity with no real intent to further harm his victim.

Style:

Exploits opportunity after one or two dates
Slaps, hits, curses, tears rather than removes clothes
Waits 20-25 days between assaults
Performs multiple assaults
disrobes victim
Doesn’t use mask or disguise
Social Interaction:

Flashy car
frequents singles bars
“Hard hat” act
“Macho” type
Anger Retaliatory Rapist – 5%

Motivation:
To punish or degrade women by getting even; uses sex as a weapon for real or perceived injustices placed on him by women.

Style:

Acts spontaneously
Commits assaults in his own area
Social Interaction:
Loner
Minimal contact with others
Works at “Action jobs”
Anger Excitation Rapist – 2%

Motivation:
Infliction of pain or erotic aggression.

Style:

Uses premeditated con-style approach
Immobilizes victim
Assaults away from his area
Uses weapon and/or tools of choice
Usually records his assaults
Learns quickly by experience
Does not experience remorse
Social Interaction:

Family man
“Good marriage”
Compulsive
Middle class
The experts have isolated a number of factors that can predispose one to becoming a rapist. Watch out for the following:

Emotional abuse
Tries to control elements of your life
Gets easily jealous
Gets angry if you offer to pay on a date
Is physically violent
Doesn’t view you as an equal
Is intimidating in a physical and emotional way

The following tips could well save you from becoming a victim.

Don’t allow yourself to be isolated with a person you don’t know well.
Check the credentials of anyone you let into your home (i.e. repairmen, market researchers)
Date in groups or with a chaperone until you are comfortable with your partner.
Set firm limits on the amount of physical intimacy, if any, you will allow on a date.
Trust your instincts. If you don’t feel comfortable around a guy, get away.
If trapped with someone who is intent on rape, try passive resistance first. Try talking, screaming, even vomiting if you have to.
Failing passive resistance, move to active resistance. Don’t hesitate – fight back! Get angry – not afraid – that this person would dare to violate you. Bite, kick, scratch – whatever it takes.
In a date rape situation, use the shock tactic of calling the attack what it is. “This is rape! I’m calling the police,” may put a halt to the attack.
If you are unable to fend off the attack, concentrate on remembering details so you can identify the assailant later. Scratching him will leave forensic evidence with you.
If you are overpowered do not condemn yourself for not being able to resist.
Given that the goal of all women who are in imminent danger of being raped is to avoid it, they should rely on their instincts rather than assume that they have to submit. But whatever her instincts tell her to do, if a woman survives, she made the right choice.

Call your local rape crisis hotline is you need help, need information, and need support.

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PERK Exams – What are they and what are your options after an assault

After yesterday’s post, I thought I would follow up on that topic by explaining about the process for securing evidence collection after a sexual assault.

Your safety and health are most important. Please consider seeing a health care provider even if you don’t want to make a report to police right now. The health care provider can check you for injuries and talk to you about possible pregnancy concerns and/or sexually transmitted infections. Whether or not you are ready or want to report the assault, the health care provider or trained forensic nurse examiner can also collect evidence of the assault from your body. This is called a P.E.R.K. exam.

Where can I get support and information?

Sexual Assault Crisis Centers have staff and volunteers who are trained to provide free crisis-intervention and counseling services to people who have been sexually assaulted. They also have people trained to come to the hospital and/or the police station to help you.
In Richmond, the hospitals that have forensic programs are: St. Mary’s Hospital and the Medical College of Virginia (MCV).

What is a P.E.R.K. exam? (Physical Evidence Recovery Kit)

A P.E.R.K. is a special medical exam given to people who have been sexually assaulted to collect evidence that may be helpful in the investigation and prosecution of the sexual assault. If you think you may want to report the assault to the police, the sooner you have evidence collected, the better.

How soon should a P.E.R.K. exam be done?

A P.E.R.K. exam needs to be done within 72 hours preferably. Most often will not be done if more than three days have passed since the assault (although some sites will do exams up to 5 days).

Do I have to have a P.E.R.K. exam?

No. If you have decided that you do not want to make a report to law enforcement now or in the future, then having evidence collected by having a P.E.R.K. exam may not be the right choice for you. Advocates from your Sexual Assault Crisis Center or the statewide Hotline (Virginia Family Violence & Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-838-8238) can help you through the choice to have or decline a P.E.R.K. exam.

If I don’t have a P.E.R.K. exam, will the police be called?

By law, health care providers DO NOT have to report sexual assaults to the police unless there are certain weapons used during the assault (Virginia Code: 54.1-2967).

Note: Health care providers may have to report the sexual assault if you are under 18 or an adult who depends on another adult for care.

Who will pay for the P.E.R.K. examination?

The Commonwealth of Virginia will pay for the costs of the P.E.R.K. exam. You do not have to participate in an investigation to have the P.E.R.K. paid for. Your insurance will be billed first if you have Medicaid, Medicare, CHAMPUS, Tri-Care or another type of federal insurance. If you do not want the insurance information to be sent to your home, please tell the health care provider.

If I choose to have a P.E.R.K. exam, what do I need to know?

If at any time you are uncomfortable with any part of the exam, you have the right to stop the exam. If you have questions about what the doctor or nurse are doing, you have the right to ask.
You have the right to a P.E.R.K. exam without having to talk to the police at the hospital or anytime after the assault. If you have concerns about the police.
If you want to report the assault, the police will most likely talk to you at the hospital to get more information about what happened.
If you are unsure about reporting or you are not ready to talk to the police at the hospital, please tell the doctor , nurse, or police officer.
If you are not ready to talk to the police or report the assault, the police will probably still be called to the hospital to pick up the evidence. At this time the doctor or nurse will most likely have to give the police some information about you. If this concerns you, please talk to the doctor.
You may be responsible for other costs associated with the assault. Contact the Criminal Injuries Compensation Fund for more information on costs and payments.
If I choose not to talk to the police, what do I need to know?

You can make a report to law enforcement any time you are ready. If you decide that you want to report the assault to the police, you can call 911 or your local Sexual Assault Crisis Center to help you make the call.
If you decide not to talk to the police immediately after the assault, other evidence may be lost. Immediately after an assault, the police usually try to collect other evidence from the suspect(s), the crime scene(s), and/or from you.
The sooner you report the assault to the police, the better the chance for a successful prosecution of the offender for the assault against you.
If you have questions, please call:

Virginia Family Violence and Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-838-8238
Crime Victim Assistance INFO-LINE at 1-888-887-3418 (9am-5pm Mon-Fri)
Criminal Injuries Compensation Fund at 1-800-552-4007

“Coping with Sexual Assault: A Guide for Professionals and Volunteers Working with Sexual Assault Victims” copyrighted by Sugati Publications at http://www.SugatiPublications.com

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